There are people in my extended family who carry on the generational tradition of intentional estrangement. The story they tell themselves, I assume, is that they have been the victim of some ill-defined offense. It is, it seems, part of their identity, one they are unable to function without.
At times, I, too, have carried the burden of a grudge. (Haven't we all?) Like breathing through a mask, it feels so much better when the barrier is removed. I think the hardest part is in recognizing that forgiveness isn't the same as removing accountability.
Thanks for this one, Stew. It's well timed for me.
Thanks, Beth. I'm noticing that my advice applied best to interpersonal relationships. It is much harder to manage resentment with the Current State of Things. But we have to start somewhere.
Yes, but the same principles apply. I'm struggling myself, for sure, but the solution is connection, which means we have to forgive. Not for them, for us. We need to be as big as we can be, connect as we can. They need to know we're not monsters. We are living in tough times.
Stewart, my husband's family had this kind of split in it. You wrote about it beautifully. For descendants, it's confusing at least, and sometimes very cruel. Keep writing!
Thank you. Beautiful post. I used to be quite a grudge holder. I'm much better than I used to be, but still a work in progress! xo
It is SO not easy to let go of a good grudge. Yes, work in progress indeed. No “instant conversion” here!
Thank you Stew! Such an important message for these times. For all times.
Beautiful 💕
Thanks, Binta! I’m glad to have you reading and commenting. Writing this one was enhilarating for me.
There are people in my extended family who carry on the generational tradition of intentional estrangement. The story they tell themselves, I assume, is that they have been the victim of some ill-defined offense. It is, it seems, part of their identity, one they are unable to function without.
At times, I, too, have carried the burden of a grudge. (Haven't we all?) Like breathing through a mask, it feels so much better when the barrier is removed. I think the hardest part is in recognizing that forgiveness isn't the same as removing accountability.
Thanks for this one, Stew. It's well timed for me.
Thank you, Elizabeth. I’m glad to provoke thought about the power of forgiveness. It seems to strike a chord. Yes, identity is a huge motivator.
Reading this helped dissipate my own resentment and anger. Thank you! And you're right - you forgive for you, not for them...
Thanks, Beth. I'm noticing that my advice applied best to interpersonal relationships. It is much harder to manage resentment with the Current State of Things. But we have to start somewhere.
Yes, but the same principles apply. I'm struggling myself, for sure, but the solution is connection, which means we have to forgive. Not for them, for us. We need to be as big as we can be, connect as we can. They need to know we're not monsters. We are living in tough times.
Stewart, my husband's family had this kind of split in it. You wrote about it beautifully. For descendants, it's confusing at least, and sometimes very cruel. Keep writing!
Beautiful.
Thanks, Bob.