Stew, once again you bring a smile to my face. From one boomer to another, it is hard to deliver constructive critique and how one approaches it is critical. I'll never forget the morning many years ago when I came downstairs ready to go to work. Ann took one look at my outfit and said "Well, that's an interesting tie to wear with that suit". Back upstairs I went.
My manager (whom I admire and respect) is working toward a process for providing constructive feedback as a team. Given my tendency to take everything too personally, I wonder how this is going to go. A few years ago, my results on an emotional maturity assessment were what I'd call dismal, as though I was as far from it as the person who just left with my shoes. The VP of People did his best to talk me through the data with objectivity and a positive take, but internally, I was wounded. I felt defensive, to the point of questioning the validity of the assessment. I think we missed the point.
I agree. The "help me understand what you mean" approach invites the person to clarify what is on their mind (or on paper). I think my post ended up punting the issue: "we all need to get better at receiving feedback!" Which isn't really fair...
The most enlightened approach I have heard is this: The person being evaluated is given the opportunity to provide self-feedback according to a set of metrics or prompts. The supervisor reviews this self-assessment, and then adds to it, if necessary. Some research I saw indicated that most people -- except those who clearly intend to game the system -- will identify 90% of what they need to improve. The supervisor fills in the 10%. Easier on everybody. But what do I know? I actually quit a job so that I could avoid giving a performance review to a particularly argumentative staff member!
Stew, once again you bring a smile to my face. From one boomer to another, it is hard to deliver constructive critique and how one approaches it is critical. I'll never forget the morning many years ago when I came downstairs ready to go to work. Ann took one look at my outfit and said "Well, that's an interesting tie to wear with that suit". Back upstairs I went.
Beautiful example of redirection with grace. Spouses can be good at that.
My manager (whom I admire and respect) is working toward a process for providing constructive feedback as a team. Given my tendency to take everything too personally, I wonder how this is going to go. A few years ago, my results on an emotional maturity assessment were what I'd call dismal, as though I was as far from it as the person who just left with my shoes. The VP of People did his best to talk me through the data with objectivity and a positive take, but internally, I was wounded. I felt defensive, to the point of questioning the validity of the assessment. I think we missed the point.
I do like the "tell me more" approach!
I agree. The "help me understand what you mean" approach invites the person to clarify what is on their mind (or on paper). I think my post ended up punting the issue: "we all need to get better at receiving feedback!" Which isn't really fair...
The most enlightened approach I have heard is this: The person being evaluated is given the opportunity to provide self-feedback according to a set of metrics or prompts. The supervisor reviews this self-assessment, and then adds to it, if necessary. Some research I saw indicated that most people -- except those who clearly intend to game the system -- will identify 90% of what they need to improve. The supervisor fills in the 10%. Easier on everybody. But what do I know? I actually quit a job so that I could avoid giving a performance review to a particularly argumentative staff member!